The first song I chose from the list is Green Day “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” I chose this song because it is one that I used to listen to a lot when I was younger. I was going through a rough patch in my life where I was trying to figure out who I was, who my friends were and the meaning of my life. The song talks about how he is walking on a “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” and how he is walking alone. This song reflects how you can feel with depression. I interpret the following lines as feeling alone and knowing that your heart is beating and yet you don’t feel alive. Wishing that maybe one day someone would show up and find you and help save you from yourself but until then you know you are all alone and you will just continue.
“My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating. Sometimes, I wish someone out there will find me. ‘Til then, I walk alone.”
I think back to being in high school after my father retired from the Air Force. As a military kid everyone in DoDEA school knows what it feels like to have friends come and go and any time you get with your friends is precious because you never knew when either you or they would end up moving. You made the most out of every moment you had together, and you accepted new people into your friendship circle with open and welcoming arms. In public school’s state side (these are just your average schools not military related) everyone in that school has lived in the same town since they were born and have had their same friends since pre-k. They didn’t seem to be very accepting of new students or they didn’t make the effort to come up to you and say “Hey, you’re new. Let’s be friends” and this made it way more difficult to fit in. I felt like an outsider and felt invisible. My shadow was the only one I felt was walking beside me even when walking through a crowded hallway surrounded by people.
“I’m walking down the line, that divides me somewhere in my mind. On the Borderline, of the edge, and where I walk alone. Read between the lines. What’s fucked up, and everything’s alright. Check my vital signs, to know I’m still alive, and I walk alone.” I always felt alone and was always stuck in my head. It wasn’t until recently that I have really started to live and not just survive.
The second song I’m choosing is from my personal playlist called “Two is Better Than One” by Boys Like Girls and Taylor Swift. I really relate to this song now and it’s a super happy song about falling in love. I am currently at a very good point in my life. I am happy in my career. I am going back to school. I have truly been loving myself and my body and all the amazing things it can do. Everything I have been through has made me who I am. I am truly loving my life. There is a quote by Mitch Albom that goes “Love comes when you least expect it. Love comes when you most need it. Love comes when you are ready to receive it or can no longer deny it.” I totally can relate to that now that I have met someone. I have been crushing on this guy since I first laid eyes on him. The first conversation we had together I knew I there was something special there and the more we talk the more I feel right at home. I felt like I have known him all my life or in a past life with one conversation. “Cause everything you do and words you say. You know that it all takes my breath away. And now I’m left with nothing. So maybe its true. That I can’t live without you. And maybe two is better than one. But there is so much time. To figure out the rest of my life. And you’ve already got me coming undone.” We can talk about whatever and the conversations are always so interesting and engaging with each other. We have similar values and goals we want to achieve in life. We talk for what feels like maybe thirty minutes or an hour, but it’s been double that amount of time. He literally takes my breath away. He is very physically attractive, don’t get me wrong, he’s very handsome but his heart, mind and soul are even more attractive to me. The way he carries himself, the way he speaks and what he shares with me. The way that no matter what it’s like we can understand how the other person is feeling without saying a word. Just knowing that when we are around each other we just dive deeper into this friendship and feelings for each other. His smile and how he makes me laugh are my favorite. We can talk about stuff that would typically make me uncomfortable sharing but with him its easy and I feel safe. We are finding ourselves opening more and more every chance we get together. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us. “There’s so much time. To figure out the rest of my life. But I figured out when all that’s said and done. Two is better than one.” I can see how two is better than one because with him I am so happy, and it just keeps getting better and better as the days go on.
Resources:
Albom, M. (2018). The Next Person You Meet In Heaven. Harper. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9425796-love-comes-when-you-least-expect-it-love-comes-when
Green Day (2013, January 8). Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams [Official Music Video] [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Soa3gO7tL-c
Mercury Vibe (2021, March 6). Boys Like Girls - Two Is Better Than One (ft Taylor Swift) Lyrics [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rxjh37sjws